Wikipedia

Okay. I must've just banged my head on something, because I can remember again. That's what would've happened if this'd been a movie. Since it's real life, all that happened is that I've stopped being a dope.

Anyway, I really did remember what I sat down to write the other day. I've created a super-basic entry for Popcorn Picnic on Wikipedia. I'm not sure if that's frowned on, mucking with entries about your own stuff, but thought it'd probably be okay if I put up the starter kit and, y'know, owned up to it.

So head on over. Edit, don't edit. I won't mess with what you've got to say unless you call me a doosh without backing it up. If you've got good logic, well, I can't argue with that.

:C

What's the name of that forgetting disease again?

I'm just a mess of forgetfulness these days. Sorry, I forgot to... wait. What'd I forget?

Holy crap. You probably think I'm just trying to be funny, but no. I've actually forgotten what I sat down to write a blog entry about. I forgot to mention something earlier. Then I remembered, now I've forgotten again. Oh, my God. Hang on. Give me a second.

...

I don't believe this. I should just discard this stupid post, but what the hell -- here y'go. Now you can see what it's really like inside my head sometimes. I can remember virtually every line from every Star Wars movie, but what I wanted to write about six seconds ago? Nope. Sorry.

:C

I'm also on your iPod!

Jeez. Almost forgot. There's a new phone interview between me and Joey Manley at TalkAboutComics. For your convenience, Here's the direct link. I think I came off okay, except for the bit where I said I was the best movie cartoonist. Oops!

I tried to act nice and say I like the other movie-related webcomics, but that isn't true. I'm the best.

No, no. They're good, too.

Just kidding. I'm better.

Ha-ha! Gotcha again! We're all great!

Nope, um . . . wait. Where was I?

Anyway, check it out. You can even download an iPod-compatible version.

:C

World Trade Center

I thought I'd avoid mouthing off the way I did with my strip about United 93, though I aslo didn't want to see the movie. I think it's pretty damned sick, these 9/11 movies, and... well, how 'bout I shut the hell up and you just read the United 93 strip.

In other PP news, Popcorn Picnic has joined the ranks of Modern Tales. I used to contribute my old strip, Streets of Northampton to MT (sorry, no current link, so drop me a line if you really want to see that stuff), and I'm proud as hell to be re-associating with the awesome crowd over there. It's changed a lot in the last couple years, and one of my favorite cartoonists, Shaenon Garrity, is the new editor! So congrats to Shaenon, to MT, to Joey Manley (who runs the whole thing), and, well, to me, I guess.

Also, don't forget my Snakes on a Plane Contest. There's still time to enter, and plenty of room for winning. So why not give it a shot? It's easy!

:C

"Always Do the Right Thing"

You've noticed: there's no new strip today. That isn't because I don't have one ready, though. I do, for World Trade Center. Here's the thing, though:

Popcorn Picnic is joining a webcomics collective that's launching on Monday. It won't change your enjoyment of PP in any way other than forcing you to survive one weekend without new stuff -- which I regret -- but the way the arrangements worked with this other site, that's the way it has to be. I'm sorry.

I want PP to gain the maximum visibility possible from this launch, and to do that I need my first contribution to be STUPID-fresh, as Martin Lawrence (right) said in his feature movie debut, Do the Right Thing, which I watched this last weekend. So I'm left with no choice but to punish you, my valued readers, with an extra weekend of staleness.

I would cry for you, if my mighty tear-ducts were less mighty.

The good news: more readers for PP! Which means more lovin' from me. Next week, for example, you'll have two PPs instead of the usual one!

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain who's telling you that's because there isn't a new strip this week. He's lying.

:C

Snakes on a Plane CONTEST!

In a blatant attempt to discern which Popcorn Picnic readers love me the most (which doesn't really matter -- I love you all), I have begat the Snakes on a Plane contest! Just go to the main PP site and follow the super simple instructions. Win original art prizes guaranteed to be worth, um, something.

Yes, the contest runs until the end of the month. No, I won't be slacking on strips. There will be updates as usual. Perhaps even more than usual! The only difference will be a contest-specific page on the site after this week's strip is too old and stale to sustain readership.

Now.

It's totally go time.

:C

Mel Gibson's Crazy Pants (TM)

First of all, I know he shaved -- I've seen the head shot. I just couldn't resist drawing the crazy beard. Oops! I meant "mug shot." He just looks so smug and self-satisfied and psyched to be Mel Gibson in that photo, doesn't he? Seems like the worst possible time to be Mel Gibson to me, but what do I know?

The last time I was arrested? I didn't look smug at ALL.

I was hesitant to publish Mel's actual language, 'cause for the most part I want people to think of Popcorn Picnic as a fun, safe, occasionally violent and/or lewd place to spend some time -- while drunk -- and ol' Mel really pulled out all the stops when he was bitching out the cops. What he said was horribly hurtful and utterly crazy to boot, but I decided it's important to talk about stuff like that without repressing the harshness so maybe people'll learn a thing or two.

I wrote a whole other script, actually, which contained more of his wackiness. Maybe you'll be disappointed I didn't draw it. The ending's weak, but I especially liked working in Haley Joel Osment's car crash. But since that's really getting too old to talk about at this point, I guess it's okay to give you guys my unused, dessicated crap.

Enjoy!

:C

-------

PANEL 1
ROGER: Have you noticed, Marlon? Our pals've been having a lotta car trouble lately.
MARLON: I'm too rich to notice stuff.

PANEL 2
ROGER: First Danny Baldwin wrecked his car...
MARLON: I'll notice if it's fashionable. Global warming, Pammy and Kid Rock... they're hot right now. My agent's issuing statements.
ROGER: ...then Haley Joel Osment totaled his Saturn.
BRANDO: The '95? Too bad! That baby was a classic!

PANEL 3
ROGER: And just last night Mel Gibson got pulled over for DUI.
BRANDO: Yeah? What'd ol' crazy-beard say THIS time?
ROGER: After a deputy tossed him in the cruiser, he said, "You mother fucker! I'm gonna fuck you!" Then something about owning Malibu and spending all his money to get even.

PANEL 4
BRANDO: Doesn't sound up to the usual Crazy Mel standard...
ROGER: Until he added, "Fucking Jews. The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world."
BRANDO: That's more like it!
ROGER: Then he turned and asked the officer: "Are you a Jew?"
BRANDO: AH-HAHAHAHA! Good timing!

PANEL 5
ROGER: And THEN -- get this -- he called a female officer "sugar tits!"
BRANDO: Yeah? So?
ROGER: Um, don't you think that's kinda objective and crass?
BRANDO: Nah.
ROGER: Huh? Why not?

PANEL 6
BRANDO: She was probably Greek. I dated a Greek girl named Diane Sugartitis for awhile. Hey! Maybe it was the same girl!
ROGER: Yeah. Sure, Marlon. It was the same Greek girl.
BRANDO: She was one wild ride. Y'think ol' Melly can get her number for me?